Help to Solve the Patterdale Blob Star Jelly Mystery

Two weeks on from the original Star Jelly by Ullswater blog and we’re seemingly no closer to finding out exactly what the mysterious Patterdale Blob actually is. The good news is that there have been new sightings as far afield as Huddersfield and Dartmoor, and more importantly we now have 2 samples sat in Tom’s freezer in the Patterdale Village Store. All we need now is someone to analyse them properly. So if you know any scientific gurus keen to help solve the mystery then please get in touch.

More Sightings and Samples

So what’s been happening since the original blog? Since the orignal sightings at the end of October we’ve had more appearing aroundSt Sunday Crag,  Angle Tarn and Beda Fell, sightings on High Raise near Helvellyn, the sightings near Huddersfield on Marsden Moor, and a recent sighting on Dartmoor. I am very grateful to Marian Parsons, from Patterdale, who has provided some more photos and theories on the origins of the Blob, to Geoff Davidson from Keswick who saw it on High Raise, and then again on Dartmoor, and brought a sample all the way back to Patterdale. Most of all a huge thank you to Tom from the Patterdale Village Store who has collected another sample and whose perserverance in searching for an answer has kept the whole thing alive (as it were…)

Analysis So Far

The original sample collected by Tom was sent to Dr Hans Sluiman from the Royal Botanical Gardens in Edinburgh. Dr Sluiman is a botanist and has confirmed that it is not a plant or fungus. He is hoping that a zoologist might be able to do some DNA analysis on the sample. Well if there is one out there reading this then get in touch and we’ll send you a sample.

Theories So Far

There have been a range of theories put forward so far, none of which have been conclusively proven. As David quite rightly pointed out this phenomena has been puzzling people for hundreds of years, including the great Charles Hoy Fort (see David’s comment on the original post for a link to The Book of the Damned). Anyway here’s my take on the current top 3.

Deer Sperm

Bits of Frog “gelatinised oviduct tissue of frogs”  regurgitated by predators

Meteor Shower Debris (or some alien life form)

So my current feeling is that it’s likely to be an animal in origin, and the swelling in size is caused by contact with water and the mild temperatures not normally experienced at this time of the year. All we need now is an expert to help solve the mystery once and for all! Please get in touch if you can help! Hurry up cos Tom needs the space back in his freezer!!

Tom with the latest Blob Sample

Of all the wild and weird press and media coverage surrounding the Lake District star jelly in the last week by far the most gratifying is to see it brought to life in cartoon form. I am therefore immensley grateful to Colin Shelbourn for kindly allowing me to show you 2 sketches he produced this week for potential use in the Westmorland Gazette. Please note these are just sketches and the final cartoon appeared in the paper itself and on Colin’s excellent website www.shelbourn.com.

I found these on Colin’s wonderful blog. So enjoy!

No prizes for guessing which of the two walkers best represents me! Only a shame Morgan didn’t get immortalised!

You can also see more of Colin’s excellent work and buy prints, cards and other good stuff by clicking the image below.

The Radio Cartoonist Shop

As for the Patterdale Blob itself still no definitive answers. Dr Sluiman who examined the sample earlier in the week has told some papers that he thinks it’s Stag semen, but told us that he was not sure as he’s a botanist and needed a zoologist of some such to examine it. There have also been other sightings near Huddersfield. I’m still updating the old Star Jelly blog so check it out for the latest. The mystery continues!

Quick plug at the end. If you want to come and look for the Alien Star Jelly yourself why not try and win one of over £5,000 worth of accommodation and other prizes around Ullswater on offer in the Patterdale Grand Raffle. It’s all to support our local primary school. Full details by clicking the image below.

YOU READ IT HERE FIRST! Now all over the press – We broke the story on the Alien Goo and Patterdale Blob. Please click here to see the latest news and how you can solve the star jelly mystery.

It all started with my daily visit to the great Patterdale Village Store. Tom and Gillian had been out on the fells looking for stags (we’re deep into rutting season – but more on that another  day). Up near Angle Tarn they had come across some glutinous jelly on the path. Whilst up on the fells, they had met Helen and Richard, from Hartsop Cottages, and Helen had done some research on the web and found out that it was called “star jelly”. According to good old wikipedia it is a “gelatinous substance, which, according to folklore, is deposited on the earth during meteor showers“. Blimey I thought – meteor showers over Ullswater, astral deposits, this has to be worth a look.

So that evening Morgan and I set off up to Boredale Hause to find some Stags and some star jelly. Obviously being mid October we set off in a downpour and as we got higher the wind got ever more entertaining. As we neared Boredale we veered off up the “short cut” path and sure enough there floating on a puddle was some “caca de luna” (Tom and I agree the Mexicans have the best name for it…).

I have to admit my “samples” were fairly meagre compared to the ones seen near Angle Tarn, which were apparently as big as your foot, but they were still intriguing.

By all account this phenomenon had been found on the hills of Scotland back in 2009, and the BBC had done some investigations, but no conclusive answers had been found (BBC Archive). Again according to wikipedia “explanations have ranged from the material being the remains of frogs and toads, or of worms, to the byproducts of cyanobacteria, to paranormal origins“. My first thought was that it could be connected to rutting stags. I’ll let you join the dots as it were but you get the picture. However Tom pointed out that the size of deposits up near Angle Tarn would put an elephant to shame, so maybe not….

Following that logic one assumes that unless we have a plague of giant mutant frogs in the Lake District then the same is true of that theory. Personally I like the idea of meteor showers and astral deposits. Who knows. If you do then let me know!

UPDATES

Monday 24th October – 10:00

We seem to have generated some interest from the story. Full details to follow but “The Patterdale Blob” made it into the hallowed pages of The Sun, The Mirror, The Daily Express and the Daily Record at the weekend, with even a brief mention in the Daily Telegraph. More importantly Tom collected a sample on Friday and posted it to an expert at the Royal Botanical Gardens in Edinburgh who will hopefully be able to analyse it and give us the answer as to its origins. Watch this space!

Monday 24th October – 12:00

Dr Sluiman has confirmed he has received the sample and will be examining it today. Tom did an interview with BBC Radio Cumbria as well – so stay tuned for an update 07:20 tomorrow morning!

Tuesday 25th October – 10:30

Well we’ve had our moment of fame on BBC Radio Cumbria. Tom gave a good account of himself with some eloquent phrasing and I proved once again why I have the perfect face for radio…

Anyway here it is.

BBC Radio Cumbria Patterdale Blob Discussion 25th Oct 2011

Tuesday 25th October – 11:04

OK now it’s getting serious. Tom and I are meeting the BBCs Look North team soon. Now what was that I said about my face and radio….

Come on Dr Sluiman it’s time you found out what this stuff is!

Tuesday 25th October – 14:04

Well we’ve now finished with the very nice man from BBC Look North so we’ll see whether we make it onto the 18:30 slot tonight or get shunted off by a dog that rides a unicycle. Hopefully they’ll realise my face is made for radio and edit me out and all being well you’ll see some good shots of Tom getting down and dirty in a puddle…

Tuesday 25th October – 14:50

This one’s a bit of a shocker – just got a call from Radio New Zealand who want to do a piece on it as well. Good on them. Probably the second most beautiful part of the world after the Lake District!

Wednesday 26th October – 10:21

Well the story hit BBC’s Look North last night.

. Still no word from the Professor in Edinburgh….

Wednesday 26th October – 13:45

Finally some feedback on the star jelly sample from Dr Sluiman.

“I only had time on Monday to have a first look at the sample, and I
plan to go back to the microscope later today. My initial findings are
that there is evidence that these samples came from some animal (so
they don’t have an extra-terrestrial alien origin – sorry!). As a
botanist I can confidently rule out algae, and it isn’t a fungus
either. Ideally I need a zoologist (or a veterinary scientist perhaps)
to confirm that the sample that you collected is indeed from some
animal (stag???).”

So it looks like a) the aliens are not to blame but b)he needs some help coming up with a definitive answer. So get in touch with him if you can help solve the mystery!

Thursday 27th October – 09:33

New sightings reported today near Huddersfield. Hopefully may provide some more answers! More on this story here.

Monday 31st October 09:45

Well still no definitve answer. Had an email over the weekend from a lady who’d spotted it in the Duddon Valley a few years ago out of rutting season, and a comment from one of the locals (see below) who has seen it before in the Patterdale area Hoping to get more news from Dr Sluiman this week…

About the Author

Rob Shephard lives and works in the Lake District. As well as an occasional blogger and frequent dog walker of Morgan, he is a director of Lovetoescape.com, a holiday accommodation owner, as well as the owner of Helvellyn Cottages in Glenridding and a Cottage in Patterdale – ideal if you want to come up and look for the Patterdale Blob!

Other Stuff

A wobbly video taken that evening. Hopefully the soundtrack will give you an idea of the wind – as will the forlorn expression on Morgan’s face…

As for the stags, we saw a few at a distance, but will be heading up again in the coming days for a closer look….

There are three deer in this picture - trust me!

And that's another one on the brow of the hill!

The 2011 Patterdale Parish Boundary Walk – 2nd July 2011

Time is meant to be the greatest healer. So it’s obviously taken me 2 months to get over the pain of doing the walk itself and actually get around to writing about it. To be honest I’m not sure the pain from this year has subsided fully even now. Take a read and decide for yourself!

The Patterdale Parish Boundary Walk

For those of you unfamiliar with the event the boundary walk is an annual fundraiser for the Patterdale CofE Primary School and St Patricks Church in Patterdale. It involves a not so leisurely stroll around the parish boundary, which in this case involves a 30 mile hike with 10,000 feet of ascent. All to be completed in a day. For the more sensible there are also shorter options available with a “second half” 14 miler and the even more appealing 7 mile downhill from Kirkstone Top to Patterdale. This is the 3rd year I’ve been foolish enough to have a go. See here for the 2010 Boundary Walk. 

It’s all in the preparation

As with previous years I started out with the best of intentions. Shed a few hundredweight of excess baggage, give up smoking, sprint up Helvellyn 2 or 3 times a week, all in a vain attempt to make the actual event itself a walk in the park. As in previous years these plans all went out of the window and the event itself proved even more painful than normal. This year, despite a couple of big training walks including some of the first half in June, it’s fair to say I’d probably done less proper preparation than ever before. Other than the normal expeditions with Morgan the Lake District Labrador, I had also managed to twist my ankle a month before the event whilst putting a microwave into a skip (a sorry excuse if ever I heard one…). Anyway enough of the excuses – onto the main event…

The Crew

As always we’re never quite sure who’s going to turn up and actually do the walk. Quite sensibly most people say “sounds like a great idea” and then come up with an array of excuses to avoid taking part. This year though we had a great turnout for The Amigos, and also a new team – Dead Men Walking. To save time and embarrassment I won’t go through detailed bios of all the protagonists but in short the guilty included:

The Amigos

• Mountain Mike – veteran of many boundary walks, the sahara trek, and owner of the best luxury lake district B&B going
• Chris “the prof” – another veteran or the boundary walk and the sahara trek, and proud owner of Scruffy, Morgan’s best mate.
• Dan the Man – a first timer on the boundary walk, who assured me he liked “a good ramble” and put us all to shame on the day
• John M – ex-owner of the Glenridding Hotel, veteran of countless boundary walks and fitter than everyone else (other than Dan)
• Vince J – The Cambridge Detective (although I wouldn’t want him going through my smalls)
• Mad Gav - true Scottish Mountain man, drinker of McEwans, and general good bloke
• Shazza – companion of Mad Gav and the only one capable of keeping him in check (kind of)
• yours truly – enough said

Dead Men Walking

• “St Sunday” Luke – who frankly had been doing far too much training for my liking
• Big John – owner of The Golden Fleece, purveyor of fine corporate gifts
•  Nearly as Big Anthony - MD of New Form Energy and the first person to own a watch that even Mike and Vince were jealous of…

The Night Before

Over the course of Friday the crew assembled from various part of the country. Dead Men Walking managed to fold themselves into a car and travel up from Kent. Dan found out that it’s actually possibly to get a train to the Lakes from London in less than 3 days, and Gav and Shazza  made their way down from the highlands to come and see some English lochs.

As always the idea that I’d be in bed by 20:00 after some last minute pasta went by the wayside as we all headed out to Fellbites for steak, chips and lager. Mike took the opportunity to sink 3 too many scrumpies in a vain attempt to avoid doing any walking the next day but other than that we all survived more or less in tact. Dead Men Walking managed to disappear off to bed at a reasonable time and I found myself sat outside drinking wine at midnight with Shazza as I watched Mad Gav toking on his Sherlock Holmes pipe and downing yet another McEwans. Plus ca change.

04:45 Glencoyne

Luke, Anthony, John, Dan, Fat Bloke, Chris, Scruffy, Gav, Shazza

Somehow we managed to make out way to Glencoyne Bay for kickoff – all that is except Mike and Vince who took the tactically sensible option of staying in bed so they could enjoy a full english breakfast. For the rest of us it was a case of a few quick hellos and kit comparisons and then off we went. For the record as always I carried the most weight (in rucksack as well as body), Dan and John M were the most lightly packed (with what looked like a hanky and an apple between them) and Mad Gav was as usually still packing his rucksack with tinnies and a flask as we set off…

The Group Splits

Inevitably on the climb up to Greenside I was overtaken by the usual gang of fellow walkers and took the opportunity to stop, say hello, and more importantly catch my breath. By the time we got onto Stybarrow Dodd it was clear Gav and Shazza were going to be doing the sensible thing and take it easy. I then made tactical error number 1 and decided to do a diddy man run (as recommended by Mad Gav – I should have known better) to try and catch up the rest of the group as they ascended Raise. Obviously by the time I got up there they were all rested and ganting to crack on and I was utterly knackered. Dan and John M decided to push on and we agreed to meet them at the top of Helvellyn (as you do).

The Boys wait for me on Raise

Heading to Helvellyn

After allowing me an undue amount of time to recuperate the rest of us set off in pursuit. By now the sun was starting to shine convincingly and even though it was still only about 07:00 it was getting a little hot. We ploughed on up Whiteside, up onto Low Man and staggered (well in my case anyway) onto the top of Helvellyn around 08:30.

Spot the one already struggling!

Dan and John M had already finished their break and wanted to push on and so we watched them disappear off (never to be seen again until the evening as it turned out!). At this stage the rest of us felt in reasonable shape, despite the rising heat. We set off again and ticked off Nethermost Pike and Dollywaggon with hardly a pause. We then got to the usual juncture of “Seat Sandal – do we or don’t we”. Having skipped it the year before, and knowing St Sunday Luke would not want to miss anything I agreed to give it a go. Tactical Error number 2. Anthony foolishly decided to accompany us on the comedy descent down Dollywagon while Big John, Chris and Scruffy took the sensible option.

Seat Sandal

Down Seat Sandal to Fairfield

By the time we got to the bottom Anthony too had seen sense. Sadly Luke hadn’t and so he and I set off up to complete without  doubt the most ridiculous up and down of the whole walk (ridiculous simply because walking around it involves a leisurely stroll by the side of Grisedale Tarn and takes 10 minutes. Going up and down it involves an hour of hard slog).

As Luke and I descended Seat Sandal we could see the rest of the boys sipping tea and generally enjoying themselves. I found the descent particularly painful and by the bottom was starting to get rather odd twinges in my inner thighs (too much information??). Around this time I also got my first phone call from Mike and Vince. I assumed they were still enjoying a fry up and had rung up to gloat so I wore at them a lot and put the phone down (or whatever the mobile equivalent is). In fact they were setting off up Dove Crag to try and meet us. More fool them..,.

Anyway the good news was we’d done Seat Sandal. The bad news of course was we then had to crawl up Fairfield. Never much fun but on an increasingly hot day even more of an ordeal than usual. By the time we joined the boys again at the top my inner thighs were starting to perform involuntary jiggles all by themselves. Most disconcerting. Time to press on.

The Long Drag

John and Anthony on the way up Red Screes

The stretch from Fairfield to Red Screes is always a real drag. None of it very difficult but just an awfully long way. Hart Crag, Dove Crag and then onto Red Screes itself. Highlights of this phase including Scruffy being taken for an impromptu bath by Chris having “done a Morgan” and rolled in something particularly unpleasant, and taking a short cut off Dove Crag and going A over T.

Red Screes doesn’t look too daunting until you actually start doing it. The longest drag of the day with little going for it other than the fact you know that you’re soon be sipping WI Tea at Kirkstone. By this time, thanks mainly to my tardiness, we were running behind schedule to put it mildly. Chris and Scruffy were due to join a new team at Kirkstone top and we were also meant to be meeting Mike and Vince. All within the next 30 minutes. I bravely waved them on in true Captain Oates style and so they headed off for the tea van at a rapid rate of knots.

Luke and John

When we got to Kirkstone top the sun was really fierce. I was in serious need of that tea break but in no mood for the descent down. Just time for a few scenic shots of the boys in true “mountain man” mode then off we went. As always the descent to Kirkstone seemed to take an age, not helped half way down when I smelt the alluring aroma of “eau de Malboro Light” and saw some flip-flop wearing git sitting on the fellside puffing away as I sweated down past him. Some people are so inconsiderate.

Half Way

Luke, Anthony, John and Yrs Truly in TShirt #5

When we reached Kirkstone we were warmly greeted as always by the wonderful helpers with tea and jam sandwiches. By the time we arrived Chris had met up with his new team who were all raring to go. John M and Dan had been and were long gone. Of Mike and Vince there was no sign. Gav and Shazza had taken a short cut to spend the afternoon in the pub. Basically chaos reigned.

Chris sensibly swaps teams

Finally managed to get hold of Mike and Vince and realised they were following us down the hill. They had attempted to sprint up Dove Crag to meet us – realised it was too damn hot and Vince had then remembered how much he’d hated Red Screes in 2010.

John and Dan (many hours earlier!)

Chris decided to set off with his new group. Luke, John and Anthony gamely set off as well, and I decided to wait for Mike and Vince (anything for a breather) By the time they arrived I was in two minds about whether to continue as my thighs were still doing odd things and it wasn’t getting any cooler. Mike and Vince wanted a break and so I decided to make tactical error number 3 and set off after the boys on my own. Vince and Mike agreed to follow on shortly afterwards and pick up my pieces as necessary.

Going Solo

There are good reasons why the guidance rules for the walk state that you should always walk in teams of 3. As I got to the top of John Bell’s Banner I began to realise why having someone around was a good idea. Luke and the boys had disappeared off in front of me and I couldn’t see Vince and Mike behind – and indeed had no idea whether they were following me or have just decided to hit the pub.

Cue without doubt the most painful cramp I’ve ever experienced. My jellied inner thighs finally decided enough was enough and I felt like some nutter had stabbed a long sharp blade into them and then started jiggling it about. First one went then the other. I did what any rational person would do under the circumstances – keeled over and starting swearing violently and loudly.

Mountain Mike – My Hero

Luckily for me Mike and Vince had followed and were about half a click behind. Unsurprisingly they heard my screaming profanities and to be fair to Mike he was rather concerned and set off at a sprint to come to my aid. It wasn’t till he arrived that he heard me shouting “stop running cos you look like a right ****”. Vince obviously had realised that the fact I was still swearing meant I must of been fine and so ambled up at a more leisurely pace.

Despite (or perhaps because) of Mike’s offers of a full body massage I decided to self administer some ibruprofen gel and we set off. There then followed possibly the most painful few hours of my life as every 10 minutes of so first one and then the other of my inner thighs would go through the “insert knife, twist, feel the pain” routine.

The Second Half

Mike and Vince I’m sure got fairly bored of my squeals but generously agreed to accompany me. We saw Luke and Boys ahead at Stony Cove Pike, at which point Big John very sensibly decided to head down (still a good slog back to Patterdale).

Chris and his team waited for us at the top of Thornthwaite Beacon but my histrionics meant that even after a 30 minute tea break we still hadn’t arrived so he pushed on. By the time we got there we could see them ahead on High Street and so we set off and tracked them from half a mile or so for the rest of the walk.

Mike and Vince post rescue up Thorntwaite

Even the tranquility of Angle Tarn seemed to have lost its usual charm through my pain induced haze and so I was glad when we reached the top of Boredale Hause. At this point we bumped into St Sunday Luke on his way off Place Fell. He’d gone half way up but decided to leave it as an incentive to come back and do the whole thing again in 2012. I must say he still looked remarkably fresh given that by now it was about 19:00 and we’d been on the go for 14 hours!!

me and Vince - spot the one in pain

The Finish

And so we ambled (or in my case staggered) down to the finish at the school, to be reunited with Anthony and Chris and his team. And then home for BBQ and beer. Highlight of the evening – meeting up with Mad Gav again and using his head as a patio heater all evening. Bliss.

Evening BBQ - Photo taken at midnight using Gav's head as a flash...

Same again next year. But of course. Now I must get my training plan sorted out this time….

See more photos of the walk on the Helvellyn Flickr

Please feel free to sponsor our team at Justgiving

To find out more about the walk and register for the 2012 event see the Patterdale Parish Boundary Walk website

.And if you’ve got this far you deserve some light relief. How about this Youtube video about Ullswater…

Win Superb Ullswater Lake District Holiday Prizes

As part of its annual fundraising Patterdale Church of England Primary School has just launched a new Grand Raffle. There are a rnage of great prizes kindly donated by local businesses ranging from ullswater hotel accommodation vouchers to a Dorrigo Lake District Relief Map.

Patterdale C of E School

Patterdale Church of England Primary School is an integral part of the laleland community serving the Ullswater area, specifically Glenridding and Patterdale, but also outlying villages and hamlets such as Hartsop, Dockray and Ulcat Row. The school often has between 32 and 35 children on the roll at any one time and therefore faces a constant battle for survival. Given the alternative of packing children aged 4 and up onto a bus for a 50 minutes journey into Penrith every day it is imperative that the school remains open and continues to provide a focal point for the local community, as well as a superb level of academic and pastoral care for its pupils.

The Patterdale Grand Raffle

The Patterdale Grand Raffle will run from the summer of 2011 until Easter 2012 with a view to selling as many tickets as possible in the meantime to provide funds for the school. Many local businesses have donated a range of superb prizes including hotels, B&Bs, holiday cottages, shops, activity centres and local pubs. All in all over £5,000 of prizes have been pledged. Please click the link to see the full prize list.

Win Lake District Prizes

So for a chance to win a superb range of Lake District prizes and raise much needed money for the Patterdale CoFE School please visit the Patterdale Raffle Website and order your tickets today!

This year’s boundary walk is on Saturday 2nd July 2011. Click the link above for more details. Last week I did a training walk with some of the Amigos and another friend. This is my usual attempt to make light and interest from what was basically yet another slog in the mist, rain and sunshine of the Lake District….

The Protagonists

• Chris (aka “the Professor”) with his trusty hound Scruffy. Veteran of many boundary walks, the Sahara Trek and Lake District guru
• Luke (aka “how bout we do St Sunday”) lover of the Lakes, committed fell walker, boundary walk first timer
• Mountain Mike – Boundary walking since birth, also veteran of the Sahara Trek and undisputed king of the local hills. Currently lean of body and with a mind honed on too many ryvitas and not enough steaks
• Me and my less than trustworthy hound Morgan (aka Mountain Morgan). Mind and body currently weakened beyond repair by lack of nicotine (32 days and about 3 hours ago since you ask….)

The objective

Luke has gamely agreed to give the boundary walk a go this year (with his wonderfully named “Dead Men Walking” team). Being a Lake District aficionado he’s already done the second half of the walk “by accident” (as you do). So whilst up on a half term trip en famille we’d agreed to have a crack at bits of the first half of the walk. Basically start at Glencoyne and see how far we get. Minimum of Helvellyn, Comical maximum of making it all the way to Kirkstone Top.

The Start

After some standard bravado about kicking off at silly o’clock we agreed to go for a more sedate 09:30 start. This was still way too early for Mountain Mike, genial mein host of the best luxury Lake District Bed and Breakfast, and therefore busy serving eggs and cleaning toilets to join us at the start. he had promised to meet us along the way – more on that later..

Who's idea was this anyway?

So Chris, Luke, Scruffy, Morgan and I set off from the Glencoyne Carpark is reasonable weather, headed up through the wonderfully and aptly named “seldom seen” (which you should try and see if you haven’t) and tried to gain height without losing the will to live. Despite having done this particular stint of Glencoyne up to Greenside and on to Stybarrow Dodd a few times before it amazes me just how tiring it is! This despite having had a month with no nicotine (maybe that’s the problem..) Anyway as we got onto Greenside the mist descended and we decided to save Stybarrow for the day itself and avail ourselves of the “short cut”. Sadly given the mist and the fact it was early in the season only us and about 3 sheep seemed to have used the track all year and so it was quite hard going. It was also getting quite cold – to the point where Chris announced at one point that he couldn’t feel his fingers. Not being one for too many layers I opted to change my T-shirt at this point..

Chris Decides some Gloves might be in order

Finding Mountain Mike

Just to emphasise the pointlessness of mobile phones up a big hill we tried in vain to get hold of Mike on Sticks Pass. As the mist swirled around we caught site of some nutter running under the ski run on Raise. Assuming this was Mike (who else would be mad enough to do such a thing in these conditions) we duly hung around in the cold waiting for said nutter. We confidently joshed that only Mike would be so stupid as the spectre got closer and closer. At a range of about 100 yards we finally worked out that in fact although Mike has lost a fair bit of weight recently the person coming towards us was in fact a fell running lady. So we obviously pretended we weren’t waiting for her at all and began a) kneeling down to do up our bootlaces and b) cursing Mike for not being a woman..

Mike cross dresses for the occasion (again..)

We set off up Raise and finally got a mobile signal. Mike duly appeared out of the mist having come straight up Raise and deciding that he too had had enough of this fell walking malarkey. He has also decided to wear his jacket inside out and at first glance looked more like a female fell walker than his doppelgänger earlier (no disrespect intended either way..)

Gorillas in the mist...

Pushing on to Helvellyn

By now the mist was swirling in style. Luckily we had not seen a soul other than Mike’s double and so Morgan and Scruffy had had free reign. Needless to say as we came down from Whiteside and off Helvellyn Lower Man Morgan smelt company and shot off into the mist.

Morgan Returns from his raid on Helvellyn

Cue me breaking into a lolopping trot and trying to catch him before he caused too much mayhem on Helvellyn summit. I finally got him back on the lead by the Summit cairn. Apologies to anyone he annoyed in the interim.

I'm only tired cos I'm restraining the hounds - honest

Good job I got him then as at the shelter along with the usual huddle of walkers melting in the mist was a tent from which was emanating the sweet smell of frying bacon and coffee. 2 lads were up there selling sarnies and hot drinks to raise money for a trip to some mountain somewhere. I did ask them to send me their details but obviously they made so much dosh they didn’t need to extra publicity so fair play to them!

Misty and busy on the Summit of Helvellyn

Coming off Helvellyn

After watching Mike nibble on a Ryvita and Chris polish off his usual curry we headed off again and lo and behold the mist began to clear. Again we opted to take a “short cut” although this time we got a little carried away and ended up having to go off piste again to avoid ended up in Grasmere. We headed down Dollywaggon to Grisedale Tarn (having toyed for about 10 seconds with the idea of doing Seat Sandal “for fun”) at which point it was decision time on where to go next.

Needless to say Scruffy and Morgan took the opportunity to head into the tarn and needless to say Morgan managed to get stuck in a particularly smelly bit of bog from which I had to drag him out. What a hound.

Chris consoles Morgan when he escapes the bog Scruffy Looks away in disgust

St Sunday Bloody St Sunday? (with no apologies to Bono…)

By now it was around 15:30 and the White Lion beckoned. Obviously Kirkstone was out. Fairfield is never very inviting from next to Grisedale Tarn. Straight down the Grisedale valley seemed very sensible if a little tedious. However Luke was keen to make the most of the day and did an excellent sales job on St Sunday. Chris pointed out a nice looking track which meandered up the side of it. So what harm could it do?

Where did those silly humans get to?

Plenty. Obviously. Whilst I am an admirer of St Sunday from afar and quite happy to walk it when coming down from Fairfield today it seemed more annoying than usual.

Luke apologies for suggesting St Sunday ...and we're not even Half Way

As for the mass of “false summits” even Mountain Mike had had enough when Morgan finally led us to the real thing.

One of many false summits on St Sunday

So a quick rest and then it was down to the valley floor, stopping off for a brief detour while I tried (and failed) to get a decent aerial shot of Home Farm, my current favourite Patterdale Bed and Breakfast. And then home and the pub…

Scruffy and Morgan Homeward Bound

What next?

Less than a month to go before the main event on the 2nd July. Please feel free to sponsor the Amigos, or Luke’s Dead Men Walking team, or have a go yourself.

If you’d like to see more photos from the day or from other Lake District Walks please see our Helvellyn on Flickr page.

Help Solve a Family Mystery

For all you Helvellyn lovers out there here’s one to challenge your local knowledge. I recently received an email as below:

I wonder if you can help me? A great uncle of mine was an artist named R. Ward Binks, who lived in Temple Sowerby, Westmorland (as it was then). He was a successful painter, primarily a dog portraitist and painted commissions for King George V and other eminent people of his day. My brother and I inherited a painting, which my grandmother thought was one of the last that Ward Binks painted. It is a landscape, apparently of Helvellyn and possibly from the direction of Place Fell. I attach a (not very good) picture and I wonder if you or your colleagues might be able to tell me where the artist would have viewed this scene from, as I would like to visit and see how the view looks today.
Kind regards,

Well this seemed like an easy one to solve and I sent a copy out to a few of the yokels looking for ideas. The Professor sent a detailed reply which seemed to contain a degree of certainty:

At a guess, this looks like the view up towards Helvellyn and Nethermost Pike from part of the way up Grisedale.  The high point in the painting is possibly the highest point of Striding Edge, and the true summit is not visible.  Nethermost Pike is to the left of the skyline. and St Sunday Crag comes steeply down on the left.  The farm house could be Braesteads and the whole is possibly viewed from the less popular path up Grisedale on the right of the valley looking up it.  Am a bit confused by the rocks in the foreground though as I don’t recall anything so prominent in that area.  Could be a bit of artistic license??

In search of a view

 

Mike the Mountain Man was certain it was closer to home and showed the King George Playing Field in Patterdale with the Home Farm and Patterdale Hall Estate cottages up the Grisedale Valley.

Having made an abortive attempt to check out the Professors theory on Sunday which was thwarted by thick mist and rain by the skip full (see Grisedale Beck Photos), I set out this morning with the boys to investigate. Having spent three hours (in the shade I might add on an otherwise glorious sunny day) we are none the wiser. Tracking up the Grisedale Valley towards the Tarn brought no joy (see below)

We crossed over the valley in search if the sunshine and caught a glimpse behind Braesteads…

On the return leg we detoured up “The Hag” to check out Moutain Mike’s theory, which proved equally fruitless (although at least we’d found the sun by then)…

So the mystery remains. Either Mr Ward Binks was employing a high degree of artistic licence or we’re barking up the wrong fell. So anyone out there got any ideas? Let us know!

Rough Glamping in Cumbria

A quick blog on a recent camping trip in the Lake District. We are lucky enough to have use of a field near Ullswater and in the summer often head up there for a spot of wild camping. No need for electrical hookups, hot showers, toilet blocks and all that nonsense, all we need is the field, a tent, some good gear, some wood, a fire, beer and we’re away. Glamorous Camping with an Edge….

The Preparation

Whilst we may not have all the mod cons on tap, there’s no need to be unprepared and half the fun of camping is getting all the gear out of the roof beforehand, finding out what the mice have not eaten (foam mats being a particular favourite) and sorting it all out. Loading the landrover with said gear, son and dog is also always an experience. Luckily this year I managed without having to resort to strapping the Morgan the hound to the roof.  5 minutes in the great Patterdale Village Store for some food and a disposable bbq,  and a quick trip to Catstycam, our local outdoor gear shop in Glenridding to replace the mice mauled foam mats and get a few new tent pegs and we’re all set.

Setting Up Camp

Obviously being August in the Lake District one wouldn’t expect perfect weather but any hope of a break in the incessant rain to at least allow us to put the tent up are soon dashed. Howling wind and lashing rain add to the sense of adventure as we fumble around in the wet grass fixing poles and pegging in guy ropes before the tent takes us on a giant balloon ride.  We also assemble a cheap and cheerful gazebo to give us some notional cover for cooking and eating. Obviously this was designed for keeping the sun off on an August bank holiday rather than camping in a Force 10, but some hastily added gaffer tape and additional guy ropes will hopefully hold it in place for the night. Sods law being sods law of course having struggled for an hour to get the camp in place under a monsoon as soon as it’s all up and secure the rain stops and the sun comes up. Oh happy days…

The Camp Fire

Quite rightly most campsites don’t allow campers to randomly chop down trees, dig big pits in the ground and have huge bonfires. Luckily for us we can do all of these things on this field so we do. Obviously rather than chop down trees we hunt around for logs and branches which have been ripped up in the last year of hurricane Lake District weather and soon assemble a fine collection. Much sweating with the bow saw later means we even have a passable collection of logs. Obviously it’s all damp as hell but a quick solution is to light a disposable BBQ, shove it in the fire pit, and stack the logs and branches on top. An hour later we have a BBQ to cook on and a bunch of wood dry enough to keep us going for the evening. BTW top tip to keep your fire going overnight – put stones on top of what’s left of it and it’ll keep fizzling away safely all night. Who needs Ray Mears….

The Evenings Festivities

BBQ goes well and camp fire does it job until Morgan goes strangely quiet as we’re all ging gang goolying. Soon realise he’s under the gazebo with his head in a bag and 2 packets of breakfast bacon inside him. Ho hum. And at that point the heavens open again so it’s time to head for the tent. This being the 21st century the days of reading books by torchlight are long gone and within 5 minutes all is dark except for the glow from various Ipods and gadgets and quiet except for the distorted racket of various films and music through headphones. And so to sleep…

Well for all that it except Morgan, who decides that spending the night in a tent with a full moon outside and various foxes, badgers and stray sheep wandering around is not going to be easy. So he gets into a routine of settling for 10 minutes, waking, barking, being let out of the tent, disappearing for 30 minutes, waiting for me to come out in the rain to look for him, back into the tent, settling, waking, and on and on and on.

The Morning After

Eventually I fall asleep with my head out of the tent waiting for him to return from his latest patrol, only to be woken up by him slobbering over me wondering what on each I’m doing. Still the benefit of being in the great outdoors is you get to experience the sunrise, so I do. The fire is still smouldering despite the overnight torrents so I kick it back into life and enjoy the morning dawn.

Needless to say by the time everyone else wakes up at a more reasonable hour it has started raining again. So with no bacon, cold, wet and grumpy offspring, and a grouchy dog we decide to head for home. We pull down the Gazebo (which takes all of about 30 seconds) and decide to leave the tent until it’s stopped raining (so that’ll be next June then) and head for home.

Oh the joys of Lake District Camping!

Go Ape Whinlatter Forest in the Lake District August 2010

Visiting family with teenage daughter meant a break from the usual fell walking and a trip to Whinlatter Forest near Keswick to “Go Ape”. For the sensible and unitiated who have never done this sort of thing basically Go Ape is all about having fun on an aerial assault course with Tarzan swings, Zip Wires and crossing rope bridges, all about 40 odd feet above the ground. And yes you pay money to do this. Still you only live once and overall it was great fun and I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to do something a little different. Go Ape have sites all over the UK but we went to our “local” in Whinlatter Forest, near Keswick. Whinlatter is a great destination anyway, popular with cyclists, walkers as well as high wire adrenalin junkies. There is a great children’s play area, cafe and shop and best of all for us it’s all very dog friendly so Morgan could join us for the days fun and frolics.

Getting Started

Having booked online the night before (all very user friendly and easy – well done go ape!) we arrived just in time for our session to get kitted out with our safety harnesses. Obviously being “outsized” I was given an industrial sized one that had to be welded together but I was assured it would do the job. As is the way with these sort of things all our instructors looked about 12 but with the sort of scraggly facial hair one associates these days with lads who probably spend the winter on a snowboard. Still they were all very friendly and highly competent so one felt in safe hands. Having been told how to clip on and off and walked through a ground level and low level version we were all raring to get cracking. Be prepared though that the briefing takes up to 45 minutes!

The Course Itself

Basically the course is divided into 5 different sections, each essentially following the same pattern. Climb a ladder into a tree, clip on, walk precariously across several rope bridges/planks which wobble a lot/other aerial obstacles and then zip wire back to terra firma at the end. The level of difficulty of each obstacle varies although at each stage where there is a particularly nasty looking one, there is usually an “easier” alternative. I opted out of one which looked like a series of hoops on ropes and which frankly looked totally unappealing. Having said that the “easy option” alternative was not much fun either!

By far the most enjoyable bit are the Tarzan Swings and the Zip Wires. For the swings you basically hook onto a rope, jump into mid air and are hurled into a vertical cargo net, which you then clamber up back into a platform on a tree. Sounds fun and it is, although as you’ll see from the photo our instructor was a little nervous that I would break my net and so watched carefully on my first attempt. The Tarzan Swing on the last section is superb, with a rather air gulping initial drop meaning you pick up a fair amount of speed (especially if you’re my size) before crashing into the cargo net. Likewise the final zip wire is great fun and takes you over the car park to the finish line. By then of course you’ve done a few so are quite blase about launching yourself into mid air.

So all in all a great day out. Allow a good 3 hours to complete the course and be prepared on busy days to have to wait behind others on the course. Probably a good idea to get into the first group of the day or be prepared to jump around the course if you want a “go go go” experience but fine if like me you’re quite happy to hang around to get your breath back. Just don’t make the same mistake I did and think you can have a crafty tab in between stages – I was almost red carded by my scraggy faced instructor as apparently smoking in a harness is not allowed. Ho hum. Still even this failed to detract from what  was a grand day out.

So if you’re coming to the Lakes and fancy a break from the fells and the water, then please Go Ape!

Useful Links:

Go Ape Whinlatter Forest

Go Ape Main Website

Whinlatter Forest Park

Patterdale Parish Boundary Walk Saturday July 3^rd 2010

A quick blogpost on my recent efforts on the Patterdale Parish Boundary Walk. This annual fundraiser for Patterdale School and Church involves a 30 mile, 10,000 feet of ascent walk. There is also a 14 mile walk and this year there was also a new 7 mile walk for children and grown ups who have more sense than to participate in the other walks. This year there was a record turnout for the event with around 124 people taking part in the various walks.

The Preparation

Having started off with the usual good intentions for the walk itself with the aim of making it less painful than in previous years my training schedule soon floundered in a haze of beer and nicotine, meaning I was as unfit as ever for the main event. I did manage a little training in the last week albeit on the short 7 mile walk. Some bright spark decided it would be a good idea to have marker flags on the route for this walk, and even better to attach questions to each marker pole to make the walk more interesting for those involved.

So the Wednesday before the walk itself I joined a motley crew of fellow walkers including 2 fellow amigos armed with a lump hammer, 24 cunning questions set by Stephen Gorton, the indefatigable organiser of the event, and 24 posts capped with surplus England car flags. All went well for the first 200 yards and then Mike, one of the stalwarts of team amigo, decided to walk off the path and went down with a clatter. His acting skills have obviously improved of late as he was doing a very good impression of a man turning very grey and passing in and out of consciousness.  Chris gamely decided to head back up the hill to get his car and between us we managed to throw Mike down to the roadside to await rescue. Needless to say by the time he was in the car he had recovered sufficiently and was very disappointed when he finally got to hospital to find out he had only sprained his ankle.

Never one to be put off by a near death experience, Stephen roused the remaining party to carry and on and 4 hours later all the flags were in place, along with their questions. My remaining training for the week involved running the course every morning from then until Saturday to make sure the flags and questions had survived the ravages of the weather and disgruntled England fans. Luckily they did.

The Main Event – The First Half

Having lost Mike the Amigos team was now down to Chris, veteran of the 2009 walk, Vince (aka Gene Hunt), myself and Scruffy – Chris’ faithful hound. We were joined as well by a team from Lovetoescape, our holiday accommodation website. The lovetoescape team was lead by Gavin “Sherpa Tennents” Mitchell – a veteran mountain man keen to get in some training before heading off the Matterhorn in a few weeks. He was joined by Mark “Cooking Lager” Quinn and Fraser “The Dude” Campbell. After a short delay while Mark struggled to get his new fandango Platypus to deliver any fluid we made it to Glencoyne Bay at around 05:00 to join up with Chris, Scruffy and Vince.

The walk up from Glencoyne to Greenside should be a fairly gentle ascent but it was clear within about 5 minutes that I was once again going to be the slacker in the team. Sherpa Tennents quickly decided he needed to complete the course in about 30 minutes so set off to stalk groups ahead of us. Thanks to my appalling uphill walking (lack of) ability we were swiftly overtaken by most of the teams on the long walk.  This did give me a chance to say hello to a few people (and have a quick breather) including Simon and Joanna Bowen – regular stalwarts of the walk.

We made it to the top of Helvellyn without too much bother (well at least for all except me). By this time Sherpa Tennents had disappeared into the distance and the group had formed into a regular pattern for each ascent. Fraser and Mark would trail blaze up each fell as quickly as possible and then smugly sit at the top waiting for me to come huffing and puffing up. Chris and Scruffy would either charge up with the leaders or keep me company at the back. Vince would distribute slabs of home made flapjack to anyone coming within reach.

Rather than bore you with a blow by blow account of each and every fell conquered or not as the case may be suffice to say that by lunchtime Mark and Fraser were still raring to go, as were Chris and Scruffy. Vince had decided that the whole thing was not as much fun as sitting down watching the footie with a can in hand, and I had once again decided that I needed to stop smoking.

The Second Half

At Kirkstone Pass we were greeted by the welcome site of the local WI dispensing tea and cake, as well as a grinning Sherpa Tennents sat sunning himself, having arrived about 2 hours before us. At this point we were also met by Mike, still hobbling very convincingly and his family. Vince quite sensibly decided that enough was enough and chose football over the second half of the walk and Chris and Scruffy as planned beforehand, led a team on the 7 mile course. Chris also gamely took down all the flags as he descended – much appreciated!

So I joined the lovetoescape team and found the pace even more debilitating. The second half of the walk is frankly a bit of a trudge once you have made it to the top of Thornthwaite Beacon – where we all thought the Beacon itself was going to land on us in a heap as it seemed to be swaying wildly in the wind….

Obviously Sherpa Tennents was getting frustrated at my laggards pace so as we came off high street he suddenly decided to make a dash for place fell and set off at a jog looking for all the world like a man auditioning for a Benny Hill chase scene…

Mark, Fraser and I continued on and got to Boredale Hause and took the sensible decision to skip Place Fell in order to make it back down in time to light the barbeque and chill the beers ahead of the evening’s festivities. And so we headed to the finish at the School for more tea and cakes before driving home for the first beer of the evening. Job done (almost!)….

Thanks again to all those who took part in this years walk and also the many helpers who manned the checkpoints and provided the much appreciated catering. If you’d like to sponsor any of the teams who took part in the 2010 walk or take part in 2011 yourself please visit the Patterdale Parish Boundary Walk Website.